I did some work today.  Just errands, quick trip to the store, bank trip, and life things.  Normal stuff.  But looking at reality, I could not have done these things without CCSVI.   I get home.  Sit for a few minutes.  Put away the food and turn on the computer.  Email message from my surgeon.  

His team has asked me to call a patient ant talk with him about CCSVI and answer questions.  Most of the same concepts I talk about with everyone at this site.  I call and we speak.  I am myself such that we discuss the procedure.  And the biggest thing I do for "James" is listen.  I ask the open ended questions such as how are you?  What can you do?  What can't you?

He has gotten a test that confirms blockages at a 3rd party.  James is a canidate for CCSVI.  We talk about UAB  and things.  We discuss my procedure.  I tell him that I did not know if the procedure would help.  He agreed when I explained that the procedure does not offer guarantees.  

"By the way, what did your tests show?"  James asked.  

"i had no tests.  i just went," i responded.  

"You did not know you had blockages?" James continued sounding very confused.

"No.  I just wanted the procedure.  I felt that I was going to be in a wheelchair in 6 months.  Within a year I would be with hospice and two years to a assisted living home.   I was going to get something done."  I told him.

"You have guts to go without knowing anything other than just what it could do," James said incredulous.  The conversation turned to hotel and other issues about how long the procedure was and all such things. 

After we hung up, I thought about our conversation,  I hoped I helped him.  I told him my memories of the procedure.  The intricate dance of the operating room.  Being awake through a procedure.   He asked if I watched the screens.  I could not because I was not wearing my glasses.  But my ears were open.  And the CogFog removal.  And wiggling my toes.

I did not realize the "guts" I had shown t just go for the procedure without knowing about blockages.  Thinking deeper, sometimes the bravest things we do are not brave at all.  My life was going downhill.  Sit down and speed to dying.  Stand up and take a chance at a better life. 

I will always stand up and fight instead of sitting and dying.