My son and my grandmother have reminded me of each other.  I loaned my son a USB flash drive.  No major value, but I wanted it back.  I should not have loaned it to him if I could not lose it.

Stress can make exacerbations happen.  I know this.   I think that I can point out the event that made my MS start down the rabbit hole.  The flash drive is unimportant in the great scale of things.  The damage to the father/son trust is the issue.  I gave it to him and my parting words were, “If you lose this I will take a hammer to your XBOX.”

Do not worry, I am not that mean.  I would never, ever do anything that item a child loves, BUT.  He had it at school all day. He made it home with it.  ALMOST.

The usb drive had a necklace for holding it.  I told to keep it in his book bag all day. And he did.  Then he got off the bus and celebrated by spinning it on the necklace.

And it fell off in the neighbor’s yard.  To far for me to walk.  The old me would have grown angry and yelled.

Insert my Grandmother: “Anything material can be replaced.  It is not an arm, not a leg.  Anything material can be replaced.”  And she was correct.

The events of today help me with MS.  By not stressing over it, I do not endanger myself. I have been stiff and not walking great, so why endanger my body over anything so trivial.

Because I used to.  I know that I was a high-octane perfectionist.  I lived on stress.  I thrived on it.  Being a manager in retail, a producer in television a stockbroker can all be very stressful.

The now lost flash drive does not matter.  No critical data disappeared and it may be found.  Getting upset and angry would only get me into deep trouble.

My life is the most precious gift I have.  My health is damaged, but it is better thanks to CCSVI.  I have learned that exacerbations can be avoided like potholes in the road.   I am not talking about a stress-free life.  That is impossible, but can be aimed for by staying calm in all situations.

I learned to stay calm years ago after letting stress eat me.  Rudy Giuliani is my guiding light in his way of handling stress.  I did not read a book about how he does it, rather I just observed.   During the 9/11 attacks, he was the calmest person in an awful situation. His calm manner brought better performance to the team around him.  I admire his actions and calm at the worst time.

At most of my jobs, I was know to be the calmest one in all situations.  One day at the brokerage firm, the market was going bad.  I was using my manager’s office that day and a senior broker came in saying the world was coming to an end.   I reminded him of his past recommendations, and asked if anything had really been changed.   He replied his reccomandtions stood strong.  What is so terrible I wondered to him.  Nothing,  I just got upset he told me.  He felt better, all was ok, and thanked me for my cool response.

CCSVI is helping my nerves grow back or restore or get better.  I do not care the whys of improvement.  I just care that I am better. 

My grandmother is hope was wrong.  I do want my health to be replaced.  I will do anything I required to get better.   Procedure or medicine, I will do it.  Gladly, with humility and thanks for those who have helped me.

We can all get better.   The Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis does not end life.  Instead the diagnosis forces us to fight for everything we ever took for granted.   And when we feel better, all the material things of life lose value.  Improved health is the best gift any of us can receive.

By the way, my wife came home and found the USB drive in very high grass.   Daily blessings should never be taken lightly.

God Bless all of us.

We will get better.