I went back to Birmingham, Alabama for another venography. All was planned. I arrived on time and the plan was going forward. The prep work went smoothly and everything looked promising.
The surgeon met with me in the operating room and we agreed to move forward. I got shaved and the program moved forward effortlessly.
I had been praying for a successful procedure and the doctor cut and moved forward.
I felt the tube being inserted and all was going positive.
Then the world stopped spinning.
The surgeon turned to his team member and commented something in a calm voice. But the tone did not match my previous experience. And I felt something I have never experienced: dread. Something was wrong. I just felt an ominous specter in the room
I have previous been diagnosed with 50% left jugular blockage and 75% left azigos blockage. These were repaired and I improved.
Gilenya threw me back and I tried other treatments, not having near the success of the venography.
Plasma treatment went okish. Chemo did not kill me despite fears.
So back to Birmingham. All the work. Overcoming strong objections from wife and neuro.
Now I am on the table and something is wrong.
The surgeon explained I had a 100% blockage in my left jugular. He could do nothing. If he tried, he could pierce my jugular causing internal bleeding and perhaps death.
The surgeon walked out and cried with my mother. He returned and apologized to me saying how sorry he was, but he did not want to hurt me.
I appreciated his honesty and thought: “What now? How can I find any improvement?”
I did not swear or even get disappointed.
Where do I go now? Stem cells? Baylor is a possibility.
I am fighting depression and disappointment. The fight must go on. An improvement can be found, if not the cure.
I am who I am.
I will focus on future and try not to look back. Behind me are closed doors. Better times will come with promise of tomorrow’s sunrise.
Focus in the future.
Fight for the cure.