I love you all.

I am the person among us who has not only gotten venoplasty, but gone back on one of the dreaded drugs.

I have done okish for the three years since my last successful venoplasty.  My second attempt was successful failure because the IR found I have 100% blockage in my left jugular.  He did not feel comfortable pushing the total blockage and hence he stopped out of caution.

Is a failed procedure worse than death?  Almost, but not really.  I have a wife and two kids.   I intend to be there for them.  MS may get worse (and it has) but I want to be there for them.  May I wind up in an electric wheel chair, Yes.  I have fought with all my spirit to at worst stay the same.  Physical therapy.  Vocal therapy and I even have seen a pschatrist for much seen condition by others: depression.

Fact:  No cure for MS.

Reality:  I am slowly getting worse.

Stem Cell Therapy seems like a far off dream.

SFW:  So fucking what?

Sulking will get me nothing.

I had an MRI on Monday.  A week later I got the results: a new legion.

FUCK.

For all my chutzpah and bravado, I am worse. 

How am I worse?  Only easy thing is my right fingers are less functional.  But I know that I am worse than I have been.  Walking is more difficult, but i do it.

I work daily to keep the mind active and cog fog at bay.

I only use a wheelchair when I have to.  But I keep  the fight.

The drug I have been on:  Tysabri.  For almost two years.

So I tell myself to chin up.  Bitching will do nothing.

I have to stay positive.

Am I fooling myself?

YES.  So what.

It keeps me vertical.

Power to the People.

Power to the Cure.