As I was laying down to sleep last night, I went through the weeks events.

New Orleans Saints and LSU Tigers won in football.

Son neglected to do science project, so wife and I forced him to work on it.  Translation:  Mom stepped up and took control, and confiscated his Xbox power cable. 

I had a breakthrough recalling how to make a simple pie chart in Excel.  The chart was needed to help wife with a Phd assignment.    Plus I got a moment of tangible value to help her.  Feels good to be of assistance.  I have done type charts in spreadsheets since I was 11 years old.  Dad made me take a class that has been a valuable foundation.

Rehab went nicely.  Worked me hard.  Made me think.  Yoga breathing. 

Different rehab as I am present from 10am until 2pm to be ready for the children's return from school.  I have lunch there, and it actually offers me a nicely balanced meal.

Where do wheelchairs enter the conversation?  Rehab has recommended I power up an electric chair.  Wife called it the "electric chair" as in capital punishment for murders.  I have had this chair for over two years, and never even charged the battery.  I feel confident it will work if/when needed.

Let us face realities that I may very well have no choice other than to use a wheelchair.  I know that I am facing this fact I will need one someday.  

When I lived in an inpatient rehab, I was forced to use a wheelchair exclusively for 5 days.  The distance from place to place was too far for a walker.  And I hated it.  I learned the realities of living in wheelchair.  And I hated the harsh reality.  I pushed myself to get out of rehab faster that it was recommended.    My goals at the inpatient rehab were simple:  get out of the rehab so that I can go home, be with my family and GET OUT OF THE CHAIR.  I may not be "healthy," but I can waddle from place to place in our home.

As I run through my memory, two of the current rehab team have pushed "chair." I pushed back.  And they pushed again.  Those who have read my Blog previously know that I try to offer both sides while not being dismissive of opposing ideas.  The team is expressing concern that I will fall and hurt myself.  And find myself in an inpatient assisted living situation.  The team has other patients who have become inpatient because of similar events.

I hear their concerns.  Their concern is that I will fall and break my hip or hurt my head.  These concerns are reasonable and valid.  I am prepared for the possibility of life in a chair.  I hate the idea of life in a wheelchair, and I will fight to my last breath to avoid life in a chair.   One of the persons said that I am too stubborn and make her need a headache pill.

I do not apologize for this conversation or my unhealthy attitude.

I am the patient.

I have MY GOALS.  

Get better.

Improve my life.

Keep my dignity and live life as active as possible.

Bedpans maybe in my future.  Losing my dignity through life in an assisted living situation.  The realities are striking and frightening.

Some of you may find yourself in this situation, and your lives continue as good as possible.  I respect those in this situation.  And I pray for all of you.

I pray for all of us stricken with MS. 

To conclude, I will continue to fight against reality.

I have fought reality through much of my adult life.   Despite attending and leaving college, I was told I would never graduate.  I did (bless you wife for motivating me with a taszer gun).  I would never find a good woman.  I found a wonderful wife who has not left me despite the MS and an offer of divorce.  According to the nay-sayers, my diagnosis with MS would be a death sentence,  Incorrect.  I was employed everyday until resignation last year from disability. Our family has moved eight times in the eleven years since diagnosis.  And I was a mover of furniture and boxes at every new property.   

And I am blessed to have my fingers to type and a mind clear enough to express myself.

Thank you all for reading.

Power to the people.

Power to the cure.