It must be impossible to be married to a Multiple Sclerosis person.

I have covered this before, but sometimes pain can bring out truth.  Our daughter has been especially clingy.  She has physically been hugging and more expressive.  She seems to think it is cute to invade her parents “personal space”.   She was very close to my wife at the store.  My wife bumped her five times with the shopping cart.

Coming home, she felt it was cute to knock on the unlocked front door.   MS has been a little worse to where, getting up has its moments of challenge.  She did not figure the unlocked out.  Finally she twisted the knob and the door opened.

I am not lazy.  I love our children.  My wife is under a lot of stress with a horrific combination.

Work, 2 jobs.  School, 2 schools.  Children, 2 kids. Husband, MS sufferer who is mentally sharp and physically having problems walking.

The woman has nothing but stress.  Her nightly relaxation includes a glass of wine in bed watching whatever she wants. 

Tonight, she got her wine and walked to the bedroom. Our daughter had a hard, clingy, hungry moment with her.  Lots of goo goo words.

CRASH.

Down went the wine glass.  The tile floor shattered it.   Wine all over.

Screaming ensued.

Honesty can come from pain and anger.

“I did not sign up for this!  Cling machine daughter!” came the angry yells.

“Don’t get up, you will only make it worse,” I heard as I decided help would be a mistake.  I sat silently as she complained about everything.

She is correct.  Her life is far worse for knowing me.  While once I was a vibrant person full of ideas, multiple sclerosis came in to our lives.   Eight years after diagnosis, the downward spiral began.  Two years of fighting led me to CCSVI.  I did walk better.  However, now I am walking poorer. 

I am so blessed for improvements from CCSVI.  I will never complain about the blessings I have received.  The Cog Fog improvements.  Ability to type and think clearly to write.  Bladder bowel improvements.  But walking.

Failure is no an option in my life.  I will succeed because that is my driving force.  Keep marage and family togerther.   All material items fall away.  I love my wife and family.  Written that way, they almost sound like possessions.  “My” refers to my heart and the driving force that makes me get better.

I have and will try any drug.  I was my neuro’s first on Gilenya.  I brought Ampyra to the doctor’s attention.  Next newest pharasuetical I will step up and volunteer.  Something will work to improve and not just stabilize me.

I have a strategy for better walking.  The weather is improving.  Once it gets good enough (this week I hope) I will begin using our pool for an hour a day.  Not only to swim, rather to exercise.  Move legs. Walk forwards and backwards.  Funny thing about the pool, it is designed for beauty.  Not for practicality for those who have needs.  Design awards were a priority in design.

I will use the walker as a ladder because the pool has steps and no ladders.  I have right leg drop and climbing out of the pool can be difficult.  Despite my disrespect for the walker, it will become a perfect ladder.  Step up the underwater steps and use the walker as the last steps for stability.

Steps to improvement.

Physical therapy during winter did not help.  I will have the blessing of the pool to help me. 

I am not the most religious person.  But I pray nightly for improved health, I just want to ease her stress.  Walking better will show her the physical improvement she craves in me.  Not to back to work, just to improve her life.

CCSVI has given me so much.  I just want to give her this gift.  She may not appreciate it.  But I want her to see improvement even if it does not sink through the stresses of life.

God bless her.

Protect her and my family

Power to the People

Power to the Cure