Christopher Alkenbrack FOR COMIC RELIEF, I`VE REWRITTEN WHAT LEONA WAS REALLY THINKING..... - facebook prikbord

Christopher Alkenbrack

FOR COMIC RELIEF, I`VE REWRITTEN WHAT LEONA WAS REALLY THINKING.....

Leona Aglukkaq Minister of Health

THIS IS THE ORIGINAL TEXT
...
Mr. Speaker, we have established an expert working group to monitor and analyze the results from the MS Society-sponsored studies already under way, both in Canada and in the United States. The provinces, the territories and the federal government have also agreed to move forward to clinical trials once the evidence is available and that was confirmed in September. The provinces, the territories, the medical experts, the MS Society in Canada and in the U.S. are all working together in moving this research forward.

THIS TEXT SHOULD READ AS FOLLOWS: (Everything in brackets is obviously what Leona was thinking but couldn`t really say in parliament).

Mr. Speaker, we have established an expert working group (of neurologists) to monitor (falsely manipulate) and analyze (or manipulate to our liking) the results from the MS Society-sponsored (bogus) studies already under way (even though we spent more than $ 4 million on office expenses....we decided to throw a little $ 350,000 a year for a couple of years to give us time to hijack the data and manipulate it until the conclusions satisfy us and the big pharma that so generously lines our pockets), both in Canada and in the United States (as we know that nothing coming out of any other third-world country could possibly have any benefit to MS patients). The provinces, the territories and the federal government have also agreed to move forward to clinical trials once the evidence is available (but we all know that this evidence will be buried so deep so that we can continue deceiving all MSers into believing that the only reliable source of information comes from the MS Societies) and that was confirmed in September (you see we need to continue making it look like we are actually working for people with MS by investigating CCSVI). The provinces, the territories, the medical experts (don`t forget we still have Freedman on our side, and he is the number one medical expert on MS in Canada, and he is so good that even before we could study the issue he already knew it was a hoax.....wow....he must be psychic or something !!!), the MS Society in Canada and in the U.S. are all working together in moving this research forward (we`re working so hard that we put almost as much money as the CEO of the National MS Society in the U.S. makes in one year to investigate this.....for those of you who don`t know, she makes almost a half a million dollars a year).

(So Mr. Speaker, as you can see, I`m just a puppet and don`t really know what I`m talking about.....but I`ve got the hand of a neuro moving my lips and that makes me say whatever they want me to say. Even though I`m Health Minister, I truly do understand the suffering of MS patients, even though I don`t personally know anyone with MS.....but I did meet a nice lady selling carnations one day to support Mr. Savoie`s $200,000 a year salary. I hope the $6 dollars....oops...minus the cost of the flowers....I hope the $ 3 ooops....I forgot that the MS Society spends most of their money on office supplies and salaries....I hope that the 5 cents I gave to support MS will help stop this insidious disease, so that old people don`t die of MS....ooops I forgot that this is a disease of the young. Oh well, Mr. Speaker, you can see that I don`t really know what I`m talking about, so I`ll just sit down in this nice comfy chair and let Dr. Kirsty Duncan say something that makes sense.)

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