Depression is tough.   There is no straight medication to fix it.

Much as with MS, most of the treatments are guesses.

During the holistic therapy I enjoyed, the most frustrating events dealt with repeated questions of “are you depressed?

I do not find myself depressed in the conventional way.  I do not find myself having sudden outburst of crying.  I might get frustrated, but I see that as attempts, sometimes futile, to take control in certain parts of my life that are simply out of any self-management.

And that sucks.

I am not a control “freak”.  And I know that control is often an illusion.  But I have lived much of my life, especially the last 22 years, by changing directions when I felt it necessary.

Did a doctor tell med to start jogging 2 ½ miles a day?

No.

Did a doctor tell me to use that time jogging as an opportunity it plan my day.  Prepare for the events, interaction and other ideas that may make a better life?

Of course not.

Did a doctor recommend diet changes and to stop drinking without any professional help?

Are you kidding?

I did these things as I decided to.  I lost over 50 pounds.  Started being a better employee.  Got better in relationships.  Did I begin to drink again?   Yes, but much more controlled. 

In the movie “Lethal Weapon”  Danny Glover complains about his new partner Mel Gibson.  Glover says “God hates me.  That’s it. God hates me.”

Mel responds, “Hate him back.  Works for me.”

I believe that I am a fighter.  If I get punched, I am ready with an effective counterpunch.  Because the counterpunches are mental and emotional, they are completely unique to each of us.

After diagnosis, and against my better internal advice, I told my eight month pregnant wife I had Multiple Sclerosis.

I regret that decision.  That one thing alone could have ended our relationship.

But it did not.

What did I do after diagnosis?  Against my own internal advice?  Listening to my doctor?

 I told my eight month pregnant wife I had Multiple Sclerosis.

STUPID!!!

I regret that decision.  That one thing alone could have ended our relationship.

But it did not.

What is m counter punch?

I worked to support her and be a good husband and father.  No internal, myelin eating thing is going to beat me.

MS diagnosis counterpunch?

Wife and I got aggressive with insurance.  Get stuff covered.  Medications.  Avonex.  Get it covered.   Fight.

And go back to work. 

Just because I have this condition does not mean my life stops. 

We, our family, have continued to move on.  Raise children.  Move across state lines, move back, move houses again, survive Hurricane Katrina, move twice more.  Better neighborhood and better schools each time.

MS did not stop our life.

And I have had two venoplasties.  1 successful. 1 failed.

But I did try.  Against all advice and odds.

Every punch thrown has had a unique and self-determined counterpunch.

I married my wife against advice of friends and family.  We are still us.  And our family is still together.

That is the ultimate fight back to depression.

Staying together.

Fight

Power to the people.

Power to the cure.